Funny Airlines Stories

 

 

 



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WEBMASTER  HISTORY

I began the aviation business working as a Junior Design Engineer at Boeing. I was manning a draft board all day long drawing brackets for emergency equipment on the B-747.  It was boring.  Then my Lead Engineer got me a tour of the SST mockup.  Boeing was in the running then for the contract and had built a sales mockup.  It was built out of plywood and was simply beautiful.  Full scale – the wings swept and the nose drooped.  I sat in the cockpit and could look out the windows at a huge picture of an airport.  It felt like we were on final approach, and I was hooked.  I joined the Boeing Flying Club the next day.  After 25 hours of Cessna 150 time, I was ready for the Big Leagues.  I called up Pan American and Eastern asking for a job.  They asked me how much time I had and I replied: “25”.  They said “2500 is pretty good”.  When I said: "No it was 25", they both laughed and told me to join the Air Force, so I did.  Out of pilot training, I was assigned to C-141s out of Travis Air Force Base in Northern California.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but it was short lived.  After four years of flying to Southeast Asia, I decided to try for plan A again. 

It took 15 months but Braniff finally called and I found myself in Minneapolis as a rookie Flight Engineer on the 727.  It was a small crew base and everyone knew each other.  We had a wonderful time.  I moved up to the right seat in 3 years and was really enjoying it.  Along came deregulation.  Mr. Lawrence put our airline on the pass line and rolled snake-eyes.  It looked great for a while then began tumbling down.  On May 12, 1982, I found myself out of work.  I had plenty of time now but no ATP and trying to compete with a lot of former Captains.  I bought a type rating on the B-737-200 and tried to get another job.  Four months later, I found myself in Atlanta flying for an upstart charter company called Aerostar.  They had 3 leased B-727-100s from Eastern and flew mostly to the Caribbean.  It was fun, but the pay was low.  There were no health benefits, no retirement plan, no sick leave and no trip rigs.  The overnight accommodations consisted of two rooms, one for the pilots and one for the flight attendants.  We had to flip for the roll-away. 

I had flown 3 trips when Piedmont called.  Not much of a decision.  It was simply wonderful.  Most of the new-hires then were ex-Braniff pilots.  We were starting at the bottom but loving every minute of it.  It was like a magic carpet ride back then with new Captains being trained every month due to the incredible growth.  I spent 6 months at the Flight Engineer Panel then checked out in the right seat of the B-737-200.  A year later, I was hired by the training department and spent a year and a half as a Check Engineer and Chief Engineer.  Three years from walking in the door, I got a bid as an F-28 Captain.  Eight months later, they closed the crew base and forced me to take a slot as a B-727 Captain.  It felt like nothing could go wrong.  However, on March 9, 1987 the merger with USAir was announced, and I knew that nothing would ever be the same again.  I served with the Pilot Merger Committee as a computer programmer for the entire process and testified at the hearings a year later in Washington D.C.  I did learn one thing, NOBODY is happy with the results of a merged seniority list.  We lost the Piedmont call sign on August 5, 1989.  The airline was actually merged on January 1, 1990.  Life did go on just a lot differently.  I lost my block holder status with the merge and then got thrown off the airplane a couple of years later.  I flew the B-737-200 for a year then got back on the B-727.  That lasted for a couple more years until USAir decided that they couldn’t make any money flying an airplane with three engines and three pilots.  I took a bid on the B-737-300/400 and flew it up to retirement.  The 90’s had its ups and downs at USAir, but the events a couple of a few years ago were devastating.  Now we are barely hanging on.  Another merger has been announced.  Here it goes again.  Life could have been better, BUT life could also have been significantly worse.  I still liked the job, but learned to focus on the life in the cockpit and forgot everything that was going on outside.

On Monday, December 12, 2005, I made my last flight as an airline pilot.  Flight 1210 BNA-CLT.  My wife and son were with me for that final journey.  I was met by the fire trucks for the traditional send-off and was met by many well wishers.  It was a wonderful end to a wonderful career.

Along the way, I have made some wonderful friendships and had some great times.  I have also had many funny experiences which has been the driving force behind this website.  I have heard many hilarious tales told in the various crew lounges and driving along at altitude.  I finally realized that it might be a fun experience to gather everybody’s stories and display them in a format that everyone with internet access could enjoy.  I hope you have fun reading about some of the funny events that everyone in the industry has experienced.  Keep in mind that what is going to make this website work is for a lot of you to take the time to write down some of your personal stories and send them in.

I hope you enjoy.

John North – Webmaster
USAirways B-737-300/400 Captain  -  Retired