Funny Airlines Stories

 

 

 



MEMBERSHIP STATUS


HIGH FLIGHT

By Pilot Officer John G. Magee, Jr.

(FAA annotated version)

Oh, I have slipped the surley bonds of earth (1)and danced (2) the skies on laughter-silvered wings.  Sunward I've climbed (3) and joined the tumbling mirth (4) of sun-split clouds (5) and done a hundred things (6) you have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared swung (7) high in the sunlit silence (8) hov'ring (9) there I've chased the shouting wind (10) aloft and flung (l1) my eager craft through footless halls of air.  Up, up the long delirious (12) burning blue I've topped the wind-swept heights (13) with easy grace, where never lark, or even eagle (14) flew, and, while with silent lifting mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space (15), put out my hand (16) and touched the face of God.


FAA Supplement

1. Pilots must ensure that all surley bonds have been slipped entirely before aircraft taxi or flight is attempted.
2. During severe sky dancing, crew and passengers must keep seat belts fastened. Crew should wear shoulder belts as provided.
3. Sunward climbs must not exceed the maximum permitted aircraft ceiling.
4. Passenger aircraft are prohibited from joining the tumbling mirth.
5. Pilots flying through sun-split clouds in VFR must comply with all applicable minimum clearances.
6. Do not perform these hundred things in front of Federal Aviation Administration inspectors.
7. Wheeling, soaring and swinging will not be attempted except in aircraft rated for such activities and within Utility Class weight limits.
8. Sunlit silence will occur when a major engine malfunction has occurred.
9. "Hov'ring there" will constitute a highly reliable indication of an imminent flight emergency.
10. Forecasts of shouting winds are available from the local FSS. Encounters with unexpected
shouting winds should be reported by pilots.
 11. Pilots flinging eager craft through footless halls of air are reminded that they alone are responsible for maintaining separation from other eager aircraft.
12. Should a crew member or passenger experience delirium while in the burning blue, submit an irregularity report upon flight termination.
13, Windswept heights will be topped by a minimum of 1,000 feet to maintain VFR minimum separation.
14. Aircraft engine ingestion of, or impact with, larks or eagles shold be reported to the FAA and the appropriate aircraft maintenance facility.
15. Aircraft operating in the high untrespassed sanctity of space (FL180 and above) must remain in IFR flight regardless of meteorological conditions and visibility.
16. Pilots and passengers are reminded that opening doors or windows in order to touch the face of God may result in loss of cabin pressure.

Annotations provided by G. Harry Stein
Copied from the PPRC newsletter